Sooooooo it's official!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!

The move is ON!! The respective bosses (well one of them at least) have been told of our impending departure.

January roll on.........

Babies....Babies....Babies....

Babies, babies and more babies....they are ALL I seem to be able to think about at the minute. I want a baby, there it's out there, I have uttered those immortal words...that said, it's not really a secret and it should come as no great surprise to those who know me that I want a baby. I will admit, I'm greedy, I actually want more than 1, two would be nice but 3 would be even better.

I want to experience those 9 months of the ever expanding belly and know for a change that its expanding NOT because I've been on a chocolate binge but instead because there is a life growing inside me...I want to have a baby belly.

I want a rugrat, a perfect little person that hubby and I have created.

Most would think that having a baby would be easy and for some couples it is, they only have to think about sex and bam (!!) they're pregnant. But for other's, well we are not so fortunate. And so begins the crusade to have a baby, we are on the baby trail......lets hope we encounter lots of babydust along the way.....

Sorry....Is the Hardest Word to Say....

NOT in this case its not....it's the easiest word to say!

My post a couple of days ago about friendships came across wrong and one person in particular got it wrong.....she thought it was about her and it SOOOOOOOO COMPLETELY UTTERLY IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER WAS......



I just wanted to write here how much I love her and can depend on her all the time, no matter what the time, she is my 3am gal who will pick up should I ring her at that time...it helps she's already at work by that time so awake lol but even if she wasn't I know she'd be there for me....

You know who you are....and so you should know how very very very much you mean to me hon xxx

Websites

So I have a few websites that I visit like my life depended on it and a few I browse through every few weeks, and then there are the ones that are there should I need a question answered or a solution sought....

http://www.sonof.net/hobartcichlids/forum/portal.php
- Hobart Cichlid Society
www.smh.com.au -The Sydney Morning Herald
www.imdb.com -Internet Movie Database - anything you want to know about
movies, television etc click here!
www.literotica.com - Kind of self explanatory I would have thought!

Good In Bed

Everyone has a favourite book or maybe 5 or 10!! A book that evoked particular memories, a book that touched you like nothing else has, a book that once you had finished reading it, you thought "Oh wow that book could have been written about me". If I had to be stranded on a desert island and could only take 2 things with me, one would be an endless supply of music, the other would be books. If I could take 3 things, the other would be my husband (to keep me amused when I was between books lol).

Books have the ability to take you away, when you crack open a book and break it's spine for the first time, it transports you away from 'real life', it could take you back in time, forward in time or maybe just down the road but it's the way it takes you there. You find yourself immersed in it's storyline, feeling and caring for characters or plotting their downfall even. A good author will take you into his/her world and make you totally forget all about yours.

I have too many favourite books to list but there are a few that shine above the rest, one of them is a book called Good In Bed by Jennifer Weiner. It IS a chicklit book but a good one. The general plot goes like this, the plus-sized charcter lead Cannie, is happy writing about other people's lives in her local newspaper, she has a nice flat, a great dog and an ok life, she even felt okay about ending her relationship with her boyfriend Bruce.....until Bruce starts writing about their relationship in a national woman's magazine.

It is Bruce's articles throughout the book that fascinate me the most because they show and say what I believe every man thinks when they "love a larger woman".

Here I have typed the first "article" (I have chopped bits out of the articles to get to the point) that appears in Jennifer Weiner's Good In Bed:

"Loving A Larger Woman
by Bruce Guberman

I'll never forget the day I found out my girlfriend weighed more than I did.
She was out on a bike ride, and I was home watching football, leafing through the magazines on her coffee table, when I found her Weight Watchers folder. There was her name. Her identification number. And her weight, which I am too much of a gentleman to reveal here. Suffice to say that the number shocked me.

I knew that C. was a big girl. Certainly bigger than any of the women I'd seen on TV, bouncing in bathing suits or drifting, reed like, through sitcoms and medical drams. Definitely bigger than any of the women I'd ever dated before.

I never thought of myself as a chubby chaser. But when I met C. I fell for her wit, her laugh, her sparkling eyes. Her body, I decided, was something I could learn to live with.

Her shoulders were as broad as mine, her hands were almost as big, and from her breasts to her belly, from her hips down the slope of her thighs, she was all sweet curves and warm welcome. Holding her felt like a safe haven. It felt like coming home.

But being out with her didn't feel nearly as comfortable. Maybe it was the way I'd absorbed society's expectations, its dictates of what men are supposed to want and how women are supposed to appear. More likely, it was the way she had. C. was a dedicate foot soldier in the body wars. At five foot ten inches, with a linebacker's build and a weight that would have put her right at home on a pro football team's roster, C. couldn't make herself invisible.

But I know that if it were possible, if all the slouching and slumping and shapeless black jumpers could have erased her from the physical world, she would have gone in an instant. She took no pleasure from the very things I loved, from her size, her amplitude, her luscious, zaftig heft.

As many times as I told her she was beautiful, I know that she never believed me. As many time as I said it didn't matter, I knew that to her it did. I was just one voice, and the world's voice was louder. I could feel her shame like a palpable thing, walking beside us on the street, crouched down between us in a movie theatre, coiled up and waiting for someone to say what to her was the dirtiest word in the world: fat.

And I knew it wasn't paranoia. You hear, over and over, how fat is the last acceptable prejudice, that fat people are the only safe targets in our politically correct world. Date a queen-sized woman and you'll find out how true it is. You'll see the way people look at her, and look at you for being with her. You'll try to buy her lingerie for Valentines Day and realise the sizes stop before she starts. Every time you go out to eat you'll watch her agonise, balancing what she wants against what she'll let herself have, what she'll let herself have against what she'll be seen eating in public.

And what she'll let herself say.

I remember when the Monica Lewinksy story broke and C., a newspaper reporter, wrote a passionate defense of the White House intern who'd been betrayed by Linda Tripp in Washington, and betrayed even worse by her friends in Beverly Hills, who were busily selling their high school memories of Monica to Inside Editions and People Magazine. After her article was printed, C. got lots of hate male, including one letter from a guy who began: "I can tell by what you wrote that you are overweight and that nobody loves you." And it was that letter - that word- that bothered her more than anything else anyone said. It seemed that if it were true - the "overweight" part- then the "nobody loves you" part would have to be true as well. As if being Lewinky-esque was worse than being a betrayer, or even someone who was dumb. As if being fat were somehow a crime.

Loving a larger woman in an act of courage in this world, and maybe it's even an act of futility. Because, in loving C., I knew I was loving someone who didn't believe that she herself was worthy of anyone's love.

And now that it's over, I don't know where to direct my anger and my sorrow. At a world that made her feel the way she did about her body - no, herself - and whether was desirable. At C., for not being strong enough to overcome what the world told her. Or at myself, for not loving C. enough to make her believe in herself."

Information Gathering

So today is the day, the day something gets done, I'm looking up things and trawling the net as we speak, Googling my little heart out and stretching my brain to fit as much into it as I can. I will come away armed to the teeth with knowledge and best ways to do things.....

....I will fill you all in later this afternoon as to what knowledge this is that I'm aquiring!

Friends And The City

I didn't envy their wardrobes, nor their choice in men and at times I thought each of them needed a swift kick up the arse. At times they were rude, ignorant and just plain not nice....and yet the one thing I always envied them...was their friendship.

To have friends like that, that you can always depend on, always rely on, know that no matter what they are there for you....Lovers, boyfriends and sometimes even husbands can fall by the wayside but friends will always and indefinitely be there for you, or so the theory stands.

So it got me thinking, does everyone have friendships like these four shared? Does everyone have a select group of people that they can relate to, rely on and call up at 3am when nothing makes sense?

When did friendship become a 70/30 or even worse 80/20 or 90/10 two way street? I thought friendship was always 50/50, you get what you put into it, you don't make any deposits then you can't make any withdrawals, thats how it works. Too often do we find ourselves going to take withdrawals out when we know we're so far in credit with deposits that it's not funny, only to find the account empty and usually in negative numbers.

Friendships are one of the few things that every person should have and hold dear to their heart, they should cherish them and not be so quick to throw them away. Friendships do not survive on mere breadcrumbs you occasionally throw at them, they require time, effort and work and yet so few these days are rarely willing to do that.

Friendships should outlast circumstances, sure people and their circumstances change but deep down we all remain our true selves. The people who we were when the friendship began is always there, even though you may not recognise her/him anymore. People grow up, move, get married and have babies but the sign of a true friendship is to transcend beyond all that bullshit, true friendship doesn't let "circumstances" and external factors interfere in something so special, they let those external factors work around the friendship not through it. A friendship can only survive on the odd capful of water so often before it eventually gets too dehydrated and ceases to exist and only when it does that will you realise just what you have let die.....

Why do people feel the need to get married? What does standing in front of each other, in front of family, friends and other assorted loved ones actually accomplish? Do we actually love each other more after taking those vows? We were more likely to stray, be unhappy at some point or breakup before those sacred vows were spoken to each other? Doesn't marriage actually put more of a strain on our relationships? Don't we feel more of a need to live up to people's expectations once there is actually a commitment that has taken place? People expect us to give marriage a chance, a real chance, if you have problems you work through them, you work extra hard to make 'it' work, which can put more of a strain on the relationship. Before you got married, if you were having problems and it got too much walking away would be alot easier. No marriage is a bed of roses and nor should it be, you have to work at relationships, it is very much a two way street and there has to be give and take on both sides. The only thing that matters is that you're falling asleep in the arms of the one that fills your world with joy, makes you laugh every day, would do anything for you and that you would be utterly totally and completely lost without. At the end of the day, marriage is, in reality, just a piece of paper, signed by both parties, a contract. Yes it is a commitment, but I don't believe that you need to stand up in front of a bunch of people to achieve that commitment. The commitment after all, is between yourself and your beloved....no one else.

Just Being

Have you ever really looked into yourself? I mean truly into who you are? Have you ever felt lost, like you didn't know who you were anymore? I lost the true me a long time ago and I've been fighting to get her back for awhile now. I just feel like this *FAT* being that is just existing at the moment, no feelings, no desire, nothing.....

.....hopefully it will pass......

Mens Frustration's With Us Women Folk

Men's Complaints about Women

1. Women complain, criticize and nag too much.

2. They try to control and suppress men.

3. They are seldom happy.

4. They tend to withhold sex as a punishment or blackmail.

5. They do not think logically, but emotionally.

6. Their emotions are not predictable but change quickly especially due to hormones, during menstruation, pregnancy or menopause.

7. They tend to gossip.

8. They, too, create extramarital relationships.

9. They are not home enough (which for some men means - continuously)

10. They are not taking enough care of the home.

What Women Can Do to Help Their Relationship Partner's Feel Happier

Women can learn to:

1. Express their needs directly without complaining or nagging.

2. Trust their partner and allow him to function freely.

3. Focus on how grateful they are to have what they have.

4. Analyze situations from an even more logical point of view, especially when they suspect hormones are affecting them. (Or avoid reacting at those times.)

5. Avoid gossiping.

6. Be monogamous.

7. Find a balance between taking care of the home and asking the others for help.

8. Feel equal - neither superior nor inferior to men.

9. Understand that men have difficulty with communicating feelings and not take this personally.

10. Realize that their partner loves them even when he cannot be affectionate or tender.

11. Guide the man with their preferences in their sexual contact.

12. Radiate feelings of equality and self-confidence without competitiveness.

We need to transcend our differences and creating loving relationships.

D Day - Day #7

Ok so here we are.....on day #7 of Project D Day. We walked Tue/Wed/Thur of last week. We didn't walk Friday but that's cause it was our only day off together and we just relaxed. We did however walk Saturday and Sunday and then again this morning.

On Thursday of last week, we were blessed with a very calm sea at the beach we walk at. It is kind of in a bay, so when it's calm its very calm, almost like glass. So here we are walking along the beach when out of the corner of my eye I spot something - a fin. I turn to the other half and say "I just saw something out there." He turns and looks, can't see anything and concludes that I must have been seeing things. The I see it again...this time alot clearer...a dolphin, and not one but 4 of them! They were probably about 10 metres offshore, in the shallows and definitely playing. We watched them the whole walk up the beach and back and at one point witnessed them swimming in a circle, obviously herding fish together for breaky!

Saturday our walk was dolphin free, it was windy and the sea was very choppy, so rather than enjoy our walk viewing dolphin antics, we instead had to concentrate staying on our feet for fear of being blown over!

Sunday we were blessed with our dolphin friends again. They didn't make themselves known from the start but about 5 minutes into our walk, there they were, further out this time but after about 5 minutes they came closer to shore, between 7 - 9 metres away from us. They were in another playful mood. On our walk back, we were watching out for them again and yep there they were, frolicking in the shallows. As we were watching them, for the briefest of moments something distracted my attention and wouldn't you know it.....one of them leaped clear out of the water and jumped over a buoy, hubby said the dolphins body was completely out of the water and I missed it!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning, no dolphin shenanigans but something else did happen, something that at the time hurt like hell but no doubt I will look back on and remember fondly. So we hit the beach this morning and walk to the water line where we always walk. We are just walking along and we come across what looks to be the remnants of weekend sand castle making but it was oddly shaped, it was in the shape of a "block" and had what looked like large steps going up to the top of it about 3 or 4. Anyways we were looking at this as we were walking past it and remarking on weird it looked and the next thing I know, my foot has literally fallen into a hole, the sand beneath my foot has given way and I am now knee deep and lobsided on the sand, my right foot covered in sand and water, along with the bottom half of my pants. It looks like it was a little pocket hole that for some reason when the tide had come in, it hadn't completely filled with sand like would normally happen, instead it had decided to ambush me this morning!!! The worst of it all, was that rather than getting up out of this hole straight away, I just kind of stayed there and raised my hands to my hubby with a pitiful look on my face like a kid! Lol

Now I already have a rooted (read stuffed for all those none Aussies out there) back at the moment and this just made it worse but as I fell because it was obviously a shock to be falling through sand I also landed weirdly on my knee and jarred it. My knee is now fine, my back is hurting just as bad as it has been recently and my other half is still chuckling about the whole thing and I will no doubt be hearing about this for some time to come.

Ask Sam from SMH

It was Zsa Zsa Gabor who once said: "A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished." And it seems that many modern men are echoing her sentiment.

"Why marry?" they protest. After all, these days they can get all the benefits of being hitched (joint bank accounts, home grants, insurance, sex and kids) without actually tying the knot.

But it's not only the gents who are forgoing marriage in favour of all the benefits without the commitment. The other day, while sipping my coffee, I overheard a conversation that had me a little mystified. A woman (in her mid-20s) was telling a friend that, although she loved her boyfriend, she had no intention of ever getting married.

"I don't ever want to be tied down like that," she said. "Plus I've seen first-hand what a bad marriage can do to someone through my parents, and I definitely don't want my life to end up that way."

"And what if he proposed?" the friend asked incredulously, to which she responded, "I don't know. I just don't think he will."

These days, with the institution of marriage on the rocks and the words "till death do us part" being more flimsy than Paris Hilton's bathing suit, it comes as no surprise that the latest numbers show an increase in the no-marriage trend ...

According to recent figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 31 per cent of men and 26 per cent of women will never marry, while The New York Times reported that a whopping 51 per cent of women are now living without a spouse, compared to 35 per cent in 1950.

Demographer William H. Frey said: "For better or worse, women are less dependent on men or the institution of marriage."

"Amen to that!" concur the single, independent femmes who buy their own diamonds, pay their own bills and don't need a ring or a man to make them happy. Why suffer? Instead, modern women would rather be single than suffer in an unhappy marriage, despite the fact that society (and pushy mothers) still expect a ring on the finger by the time they reach a certain age.

Yet the sobering expectation that one-third of marriages could end in divorce now, compared with 28 per cent in the mid-'80s, shows there's plenty of reasons to shy away from signing that marriage certificate.

Recently divorced reader Peter (who was left with nothing and had to move back in with his folks), reckons that, while the institution of marriage is not yet dead, the need for it is.

He writes: "With equal wages for the women, and automated easy care homes for the men, neither gender NEEDS to get married as they did 50 years ago ... Some women still talk about getting married but men generally talk about getting laid. And, surprise, surprise, many modern women talk about casual affairs these days too."

Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, A History, concurs, yet says that the marriage backlash started back in the '60s with the invention of the Pill, domestic devices and more women going to work. The bachelors found they no longer needed a wife for domestic purposes, women found they could have sex without attachment and marriage no longer defined adult life.

Yet over on the other side of the sexual fence, it seems the battle to legalise same-sex marriage continues.

Evan Wolfson, gay rights activist and author of Why Marriage Matters, argues this: "Gay people have the same mix of reasons for wanting the freedom to marry and needing the protections and responsibilities of marriage as non-gay people do." And therefore governments should not prevent such unions.

It seems odd to me that, while some are so passionately fighting for it, others are fighting against it. But perhaps Hollywood hunk Brad Pitt had it right when he said: "Angie [Angelina Jolie] and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able."

Perhaps since he's already been married once, Pitt has taken on board the wise words of Oscar Wilde who said: "Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience."

Ask Sam from SMH

This week's video is in response to reader G-Gal's question:

"Dear Ask Sam,

"I have been going out with my bf for almost a year, we are a lovely affectionate couple and are constantly cuddling, kissing, playing etc..

"The problem is our sex life has kind of dwindled in the last 6 months through a combination of travel, illness, stress. We spend 24/7 together and though we have not officially moved in together, we are together all the time.

"The sex has been good, but he has had a problem 'getting it up' sometimes and the stress in our lives from a variety of factors ain't helping.

"I am in my 30s, my sexual peak, and want and enjoy sex now more than ever. We have spoken about this before and he doesn't seem to think it is an issue. I don't know what else to do without seeming like a sex-crazed girlfriend - I am out of ideas... please help!

"Signed, G-Gal."

It seems she's not alone. Lately I've noticed a plethora of similar comments from people of all ages and sexes complaining about mismatched libidos. Some say their partners are too demanding, others say their partners aren't giving enough, and most are confused as to how many times is normal anyway ...

I can understand G-Girl's frustration. A friend of mine is in a similar sexless position, and finds it extremely tough and embarrassing to confront her boyfriend with the situation.

"What if he's just not that into me?" she continually asks. "What if we're not meant to be together? Surely if our libidos are this mismatched, then we're not right for each other?"

Well, no. According to research, 90 per cent of couples experience mismatched libidos at some point in their relationship, while 60 per cent of women are dissatisfied with their sex lives because the fact is they're unable to have an orgasm!

I can see why neither women wants to talk about it either. Lately it does seem that if one wants more sex than one's partner's willing to put out, then one could be suffering from severe sex addiction.

That's right folks. If Sienna Miller's crude observations are anything to go by, the fact that she noted she was constantly "too tired" at night to please Jude Law didn't matter. Because he asked for it, she told the entire world that he had a troublesome sex addiction.

(Of course we're not exactly sure if Simone Warne was lying when she declared the same about her ex-husband, but neither blokes have had their addictions proven psychologically. Yet.)

The rise of the DINS

Experts reckon that if we don't make the effort to improve things between the sheets, we're in danger of becoming bona fide DINS: Double income, no sex couples.

"In this day of fatigued jugglers, dual-income and hard-working couples, stress is one of the biggest libido killers," warns sexologist Gabrielle Morrissey. "And the distress call for 'more sex, please' or 'more excitement and passion, please' can often be met with a sigh or a groan (and not the sexy kind, either)."

As the popular saying goes: abstinence makes a heart wander. Yet, rather than allowing mismatched libidos to push a partner to stray, it seems there's something that can be done to ease the situation.

Introducing Spicy Sex, which, says author Gabrielle Morrissey, is "moaning, panting, screamingly great" action in the bedroom. (Remember the last time you experienced that?)

But it doesn't have to be all leather chaps, whips and wax either. Gabrielle says that "simply trying one new thing can bring about a world of difference to your intimacy, and inject your libido with a higher energy."

Want more fuel to enhance your libido? How about purchasing a high-end luxury toy? After all, Parisian femme fatales are touting them as the new must-have accessory.

While the chic Passage du Desir (Route of Desire) store is selling out of the luxury toys at a rapid rate, we now have our very own Aussie-based luxury toy maker Black Label, which is getting local women's knickers in a tizzy.

After talking to a few girlfriends about their sex toys, label creator Bliss found she was amazed at how many people already had them.

"I move in reasonable social circles and every one of my friends has at least one toy in her drawer," she says. "And thinking that while most of them did the job, they all looked kind of tacky. So I decided to create a more luxury, up-market brand."

While one of the most popular toys in a mini-vibrator, Bliss acknowledges that toys might not be for everyone.

"I don't think sex toys have to be a vital part of a relationship," she muses. "Some people get along just fine without them, but they sure come in handy."

So Far Down The Road

"I saw this young couple in a cafe the other day and she was really mean to him & you know he was nice & he tried and I thought, you weren't like that once, you adored him and now, now you just fucking hate him and he's numb to it, he doesn't even know whats happened. I just don't want to be so far down the road that I just don't know the way out."

Frankie - Love My Way Season 3

D Day - Day #1

Ok so the first day.....we got up at 6.30am this morning, after lying in bed for 15 minutes contemplating whether or not TO get up! Neither of us slept particularly well last night, so it was VERY tempting, NOT to get up and instead to stay in bed where it was lovely and warm!

BUT, I'm proud to say that we did indeed get up. So up and dressed, we got in the car drove down to the beach, yes I know we drove somewhere so we could go for a walk but I enjoy my walks and tend to throw myself into them more if I'm actually 'enjoying' where I'm walking, appreciating the views and the surrounds and I always do whenever I'm near the beach. It's only a 5 minute drive anyways.

It was very chilly, not cold, just chilly and very very very windy, with lovely dark threatening clouds. The sea was rough and there weren't even any birds around - see they had the sense to stay in bed lol!

We walked for 2kms and it only took us half an hour, at a nice steady pace, walking on sand at that, just for that little extra bit of resistance - hence why my thighs are screaming at me this afternoon!

Tomorrow, we are going to aim for 3km and walk a bit faster. Start off slow and build up I say, plus hubby is also giving up smoking, so combine:

• Giving up smoking
• Giving up ALL forms of junk food and drink
• With a new exercise program

and you have a serious case for getting extremely narky and moody! But we are already feeling the good affects of starting our day off with some much needed exercise, by the time we arrived home this morning, I felt like I could take on the world, slowly but I could take it on! lol

D Day

Dum da dum....and so tomorrow is it! D Day, the start of the 'new' lifestyle. NO more of any of the following:

*chocolate (can you hear me wailing already just at the thought?)
*crisps/potato chips (they are called different things in different countries)
*cooked chip/french fries
*lollies and/or sweets of ANY variety
*icecream
*fizzy soft drinks eg Coke......(and so the sobbing begins again!)

The exercise will also begin tomorrow morning, a nice hour long frantically paced 'stroll' along our local beach at 7am! Should be lovely, bit chilly and my thighs will be cursin me aftawards but them's the breaks!

I will NOT be posting how much I weigh, but I will be posting weekly updates as to how much I have lost each week (see how hopeful I am that this diet will last longer than a week lol), so you will have some idea of progress.

I am determined to do this, the thin person within me has lived too long in this fat body and it's time she emerged, fightin fit and ready to take on tha world!

There is not more wonderful feeling than catching the start of the day, knowing you are there to witness the day start, the sun rise for it's long hold in the sky, the birds waking, you feel so alive while most of the rest of the world are still asleep around you.



A deserted beach, the promise of a new day, time to reflect on what lies ahead for you, what new promise this day can bring you. There is no greater feeling than having a beach to yourself, enjoying the quietness that surrounds you, engulfs you, time for your mind to think clearly, stretch it's legs, contemplate.

More pics from my new Digi Camera

Our Oscar, Achilles, sulking after a water change, he was 'headstanding' for about 10 minutes in the one position without moving!

A Kangaroo Paw in full flower

Digi Camera

So I went and bought a new digi camera last week and have been trying it out. I am going to be studying and learning as much as I can about photography, it's something I really really enjoy doing, I love how you can see something that someone else might think is rubbish and yet turn it into something spectacular.

Here are some examples....still learning all about the camera though and all it can do...








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Feeling Alone and Heading for Paradise

We are moving in 5 months time. We are moving to the other side of the country, where we know no one, not a single soul. We have no family over there, no friends, no jobs to go to, in fact the only thing we know for certain is that when we get over there, we will have a roof over our heads, because we already have a house over there.

Life is too short we have come to the conclusion of, too short to live somewhere, where you aren't happy, where it doesn't "fit" you. We have found a place that "fits" us in our new home, it's so us, we felt it as soon as we first caught a glimpse of it. It immediately felt like home. And that is a feeling we haven't felt for such a long time.

The problem with all this is simply this: I desperately want to move, I can't wait to move but at the end of the day its STILL a daunting thing to do. I am moving my entire life to a foreign place, a place I know I like to stay for 10 days but will I like it there forever? I say yes, I will but it's still scary. The other problem this raises is that I find I have no one to talk to about it, my friends and family here, don't want me to go and so are reluctant to talk about the move when in fact it's all I want to do, I want to discuss it til the cows come home but have no one to discuss it with (other than my gorgeous hubby of course!!). I of course don't know anyone where I am moving to so it's not like I can even discuss it with anyone over there!

I've never been so excited about anything in my life and yet here I am....with no one to share it with...and feeling very much alone....just doesn't seem fair....

"This day is a special day,
It is yours.
Yesterday slipped away
It cannot be filled with more meaning.
About tomorrow nothing is known.
But this day, today, is yours,
Make use of it.
Today you can make someone happy.
Today you can help another.
This day is a special day,
It is yours."

"Nothing exists the way it appears, it is all up to our Karma."

"Just as rust eats away the iron from which it is produced, so do their own deeds lead the overindulgent into a miserable state."

"Speak the truth, do not become angered, and give when asked, even be it a little. By these three conditions one goes to the presence of the gods."

"Overcome anger by non-anger; overcome evil by good; overcome the miser by giving; overcome the liar by truth."

"Do not say anything harsh; what you have said will be said back to you. Angry talk is painful; retaliation will get you."

"Do not think a small virtue
Will not return in your future lives.
Just as falling drops of water
Will fill a large container,
The little virtues
The steadfast accumulate
Will completely overwhelm them."

"Even if you donated three hundred pots Of cooked food three times a day, It could not compare to even a fraction Of the merit from just a moment's love."

Good Excuse - John Butler Trio

All around I see raining
Things don't seem to go my way
Got a dark cloud that's hanging
And it seems to follow me
Oh boy won't you just wake up
feel the humming
This good world is giving you
better start running
to catch up with your life, catch on up
Before the whole thing is through

Have you once? Have you twice?
Have you even conceived how
Really good boy you do got it
Go take another better look around
You are just another white boy
Thinking you're so hard
Go take step outside
see what's shaking in the real world
Go take a step outside
see what's shaking in the real world
Go take a step outside
see what's shaking in the real world

But you don't know how my heart laments
I really got a good excuse to complain
My parents got divorced Can't heal the pain
And now there is only cheap regrets
I guess thats just the way it be
Is it the world or how I see me
Boy now you are really, really bugging
Yes you are bugging me, can you just shut right up
Your cup is overflowing, overflowing
And you think it is empty
You don't even know what side you are fighting for
Boy won't you turn your game boy off
Stop pretending it's you against the world
I am sick and I am tried of hearing you always say
I really got a good excuse to complain
My parents got divorced Can't heal the pain
Go take a step outside
see what's shaking in the real world

And so it kicks offfffffffffffffffffffffff......

And so it kicks off for another season....I am of course talking about the English Premier League!!!!!

Tonights game our boys, THE MIGHTY MANCHESTER CITY play the lowly West Ham.

Carn the blues!!

Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue Mooooooooooooooooon, you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own!
Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue Mooooooooooooooooon, you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own!

Who Reads Blogs??

So who does read blogs? I've often wondered once I've finished tapping away on my laptop who actually is going to take time out of their day and read my ramblings? Click onto a link or look up past history, let the world wide web take them to my blog page and let their eyes drift over my carefully typed words and read my thoughts and feelings, laugh at my jokes and relate to what I'm saying? The simple answer is that I have no idea BUT I would really LOVE to know who reads my blog......so if you do....PLEASE please PLEASE (I refuse to beg anymore lol) leave me a comment, to let me know who you are and what you think of my sometimes absurd ramblings!

When we grow up, we usually have a collection of friends we have collected along the pathway of life. We normally have a few friends that have been in our life since childhood, other's we have met along the way, either at uni or jobs, or on our travels. Sometimes though we can find ourselves drifting away from friends, their lives change, our lives change and you find that you just don't have the same interests anymore...it's a sad fact of life but it happens to the best of us.

I have no children, I am desperate for them and yet I have none. ALL my friends have children, ALL of them, I do not have one single friend who is childless. I found myself asking myself why this week. Why do all my friends have the one thing I do not and yet crave so much? Why have I not gone out and made new friends, friends who are in similar circumstances as me. The reason is, because my current friends were in the same situation as me but then they changed that situation, they started making babies. I visit these friends, go out with them, field their questions as to when I'm going to be having children and always come home from seeing them, feeling completely and utterly inadequate....like I'm not part of the group, like I'm on the outer, like I'm not as worthy as them because I haven't created life, haven't carried life, haven't brought life into this world. I feel like I'm standing outside the house looking in through the window, wishing, PRAYING that I could be part of the life the people INSIDE the house have. I feel my opinion is not valued because I don't have children, I offer advice and I feel like they are thinking, "What would you know? You don't have children, you don't know what it's like."

All your life, you are told to take precautions to make sure you DON'T make babies, no one ever lets the thought enter their mind, that they may not actually be able to make babies.

Sometimes I think god is such an arsehole, but of course, this is a thought I keep to myself, I'd hate to piss the big guy upstairs off even more.

"Carries Quandaries"

"Since birth, modern women have been told we can do and be anything we want. Be an astronaut, the head of an Internet company, a stay-at-home mom. There aren't any rules anymore, and the choices are endless. And apparently they can all be delivered right to your door. But is it possible that we've gotten so spoiled by choices that we've become unable to make one?"

"'Soul Mate'. Two little words. One big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere is holding the key to your heart and your dream house. All you have to do is find them. So where is this person? And if you love someone and it didn't work out, does that mean they weren't your soul mate?"

"What if Prince Charming had never showed up? Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever? Or would she have eventually woken up, spit out the apply, gotten a job, a health-care package and a baby from her local neighbourhood sperm bank? I couldn't help but wonder: inside every confident, driven single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?"

"In a city of infinite options, sometimes there's no better feeling than knowing you only have one."

"Maybe you can't change a man, but once in a blue moon, you can change a woman."

First Class VS Economy Class Air Travel

"Trouble is, the people in first class never get to see any of this because they are separated by a curtain. For all they know, the whole notion of seating classes could be a con; there might be an open fireplace and conveyor-belt sushi bar at the back of the plane. Surely this is missing the point. Whip back the curtain. Treat the first-class fat cats to a guided tour of the poky sardine conditions. Only then can they appreciate their fortune.

Mind you, since comfort is relative, the airlines could raise the spirits of the economy section by introducing a new sub-economy class, in which society's most impoverished passengers travel free, provided they stand atop rickety stools with a noose round their necks for the duration of the flight. Suddenly your cramped economy seat will feel like a gilded throne in comparison. For about 10 minutes. Until the veins in your leg explode.

If they must take the rich-poor divide to the skyways, they could at least be creative about it. Here is the ultimate in first-class entertainment: an interactive screen displaying a floorplan of the economy section. Tap any seat and up pops a live shot of its luckless proletarian inhabitant. Now, using a videogame-style joypad, you control his environment. You can halt his in-flight movie 40 minutes in, turn the sound so low he has to struggle to hear it, or play it at half-normal speed, so Die Hard 4.0 seems to be taking place underwater.

You can slowly slide his seat forward, gradually reducing his legroom for chuckles. Blow cold air in his face. Shine lights in his eyes. Remorselessly goad him with a stick. Hidden beneath his seat is a turbulence simulator: activate this if he reaches for orange juice. Seated beside him is an animatronic baby that will scream, dribble or belch half-digested rusk down the side of his face whenever you see fit.

Of course, the inequality of air travel is a caricature of what happens on the ground: space and resources for all, doled out disproportionately. Yet no matter what relative comforts we are gifted, we are all screwed if the wings fall off."

Source - Charlie Brooker The Guardian

Cute but Psycho

I'm not insane, everyone else is just a little too straitlaced for my liking!!

The Real Me Post Numero Uno

Ok this is going to be a very honest post....it's time I started owning up to things, admitting that all is not right in my world. Too often lately have I found myself out with a friend or in a group just talking and feel myself stepping back, feeling like I don't fit, like I don't deserve to be part of what is happening - this I solely put down to my weight, body image, body confidence or lack of it and self esteem issues.

So it's time to do something about it!! It's time to find the "Real Me" again!

First step, talking about how and what I'm feeling, putting it out there, means others will read it and I will have to admit to what I'm feeling and experiencing, rather than sweeping it under the carpet along with all my other emotional garbage thats already there! lol

Ok so the other day, I went out with a mate. She has a daughter and we went to the shops. Now this mate is similar to me in size, maybe a bit smaller big difference is, she is brimming with that little thing called body confidence and self esteem, she has always been this way and its always been something I've envied. She has the child I crave, the close knit family I desire and the dependable friends that I definitely don't have. Whenever I come away from outings with her, I suffer a case of "life envy"...but the funny thing is and this is where it gets confusing, there are more parts of her life that I DON'T envy than I do. I think I finally worked out the other day, that if I just had her body confidence and self confidence, the rest I could do myself.

Now to give you an idea of why I'm on the hunt to find the "Real Me", I shall give you a scenario and give you what the "Current Me" would do in that situation and what the "Real Me" would do.

The Scenario:
At a mates party, with her family and friends.

The Current Me:
I will arrive first, so I don't have to make an "entrance", I will find people I know and blend into their conversation or I will just stick with my mate, her being the hostess and help her out. I will avoid anyone who makes me feel uncomfortable eg her sister in law to be in this instance, I will feel self conscious as if everyone is looking at me and passing judgement. I won't eat much, afraid people will be looking and thinking "as if she needs to eat more" and I will 9 times out of 10 leave either first or within the first 5 to go.

The Real Me:
I will arrive first to make sure I don't miss any fun. I will drift from group to group catching up with people and having a laugh in general, doing stupid things to make others laugh. I will not give a flying Fvck about what others think of me and be more interested in having a good time. I will usually be one of the last to leave or crash the night there.

Spot the difference?

And so my friends, the quest starts here....I believe the real me is out there and will be found again...the next step is the weight and to lose it, to become that stunner again that turns heads in the street!

So the journey begins.....

Tassie!!!!!!!

Tassie, The Apple Isle, The Land of the Two Headed Race......all ways that wonderful place called Tasmania is referred to!

We (the hubby and I) had the pleasure of going on holiday there in June, not really knowing what to expect, to say I was pleasantly surprised is an understatement, the place is just magnificent.....



There are trees....EVERYWHERE!!! I have never seen as many trees as we did there!!




And mountains, lots of mountainous terrain...that is breathtaking!

I would HIGHLY recommend a visit, and like us, you may just fall in love with the "Little Island" that has BIG things to offer!!!








One of our favourite places was a little town called Stanly, it sits out on a rocky outcrop in Bass Strait dominated by "The Nut"

"There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.

Which one am I?

You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance."

-Harry Burns to Sally Albright in When Harry Met Sally

"High-maintenance women. A reader actually asked, "Why don't you write a Top 10 Signs She Is Not High-Maintenance since all women are high-maintenance?" Funny stuff; the man does have a point, so I guess we will hit you with that one later. In the meantime, enjoy this one and discover whether or not you're dating a high-maintenance woman.

10. She's unfair

She asks you to drive her somewhere, and you get yelled at for being stuck in traffic. You go for a walk, and she gets peeved because it starts to rain. You stop by to surprise her with pizza, but she blasts you for not getting burgers.

9. She's daddy's girl

She has never earned anything in her life; she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and requires the help of servants to remove it. Her idea of protection is the insurance clauses on her daddy's platinum card.

8. Going out is like the countdown to eternity

Going out for a night on the town should be more fun than this, but you must give her a 48-hour heads up when you want to go out, since getting ready entails calling in the jaws of life, especially considering that she applies a pound of goo on her face.

7. She has irrational demands

She is used to drinking watered down cocktails when she's drinking on her tab, but when Daddy Warbucks comes knocking, it's Dom Perignon time.

6. Bills, bills, bills

Her answering machine greets you with the Destiny's Child tune. You have never seen her wallet, she has never paid for a thing, and the only bills she's accustomed to are the credit card kind.

5. She's not comfortable with herself

We like attractive women who take care of themselves, but we also want women who can be themselves ‑- track pants, ponytails and all. If she needs a wall of gunk on her face to look you in the eyes, then she just might have an issue.

4. She doesn't know the definition of sacrifice

Relationships are meant to be about compromise, but she is more about selfishness. You bend and adapt to her needs, yet all she gives you are ultimatums.

3. She's difficult to please

No matter what you do or say, she will want something else. No matter how much you try to please her, you will always fall short. She has never cracked a smile and has a tendency to rain on your parade.

2. She's socially inept

She only hangs out with people who can offer her something, and she is a social burden the rest of the time, eating into your good times and peace of mind.

1. She needs to be in control

Most women admit that being high-maintenance comes down to being in charge and running the show. They need to feel that it is their call; their way or the highway. It's up to you to show them otherwise."

Source - www.askmen.com

Hmmm this definitely makes for interesting reading. I've tended to notice over the years that males usually say, the better looking the femme fatale....the higher maintenance she is....what does that make me...chopped liver?? lol